NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS OR NOT!!!

(This is a little story I wrote)

Tonight is the night; yes I’m going out with the girls. You can imagine that the “Getting Ready” process will be quite painful for me; well actually it’s bloody hilarious where I am concerned. I take a shower, do the whole chick cleansing, toning and moisturising. Conditioning treatment in the hair and the horrendous chore of plucking my eyebrows.

“Ohhhhhhh finding out what I am going to wear”, What a joke that is, well let me see, what to do what to do, well will you look at that, there in my closet is the (outfit) to end all outfits, yes its the one and only black top, black pants and it would not be complete without the black shoes, flat ones of course, (have you seen me walking in high heels, what a pisser).

Outside for that cigarette while my hair is drying, you need to get the hair do right or I cannot possibly go anywhere. I have it all decked out with coffee table, ashtray, and the good old outdoor fold out chair. It’s an Aussie dream; no it’s the garden-shed.

Meanwhile the house is buzzing I’ve got sisters running around everywhere, doing the same thing as me. Except that they do this every week and this is the first time in 12 months I’ve been out. What the hell am I doing, well apparently I am going out with the girls. This will be interesting.

I go to my room, get the hair dryer and start blow drying my hair, and you wouldn’t believe what happened next, the hair dryer blew up made my whole arm black, fell to my stomach, burned right through my top, my pants even my underwear to leave a lovely round burn on my gut. How attractive is that, guess I won’t be getting lucky tonight. How would you be? Like a pork chop if you ask me.

What now, no hair dryer, nearly get electrocuted have a burn on my stomach, I better go and use my sis’s hair dryer. If I let it dry too long it will frizz right up, as if it didn’t already from the shock. I get the dryer finally and try again. It took me a whole hour to dry it, what an effort looking good.

Have to put my face on, now this will be fun lets see if I don’t poke myself in the eye with my eye liner or worse stick the whole mascara brush in my eye ball and blind myself. You know the drill first comes the foundation, powder, eyes, lips and the finishing touch rouge. Beautiful.

There you have it, two and a half hours later I have managed to totally devastate my self to the point that I need another cigarette. Laugh all you want, but at least my curtains won’t need washing every day. Taking a few deep breaths waiting for the others while having that all-important quiet moment to myself, gathering my thoughts.

We finally arrive at the night spot, and this is where I start to feel dizzy again, you would too if you nearly got electrocuted, put gunk on your face and was just about to walk into this place that you got dragged to anyway. All I can say is that if this is what it takes to be a girl in the year 2002, have it, I’d rather chuck the trackies on, wash the make up off and have a BBQ and the Aussie famous brewskie night at home with my mates partying!!!


Enjoy!!

Luv Katly